Clowns with Kinks
by BethLolli
Summary: Disclaimer: I do Not own the characters The Joker or Harley Quinn... The Joker has been quite distracted by a certain female jester. Will Harley ease his frustration or will she play a little game with Clown Prince of Crime? Rate M for sex
1. Prologue

_**Prologue**_:

"What are these?" Harley Quinn knelt down beside the dark wooden desk and picked up a crumpled piece of paper. She opened it up and held it under her flashlight.

**Discarded plans?**

The Joker has been distracted and more frustrated than usual, but Harley didn't think he would ever demolish his work space. Demolish is indeed the key word; there were broken pencils, ripped paper, and he smashed the desk lamp; he smashed a trail of lamps.

**Why so furious? **

The concerned little jester nearly stepped on the jagged pieces of glass, hell; she might of well have if it wasn't for her flashlight.

"Mistah J?" Harley called out into the darkness. "Hello? Mistah J?" She tiptoed through the warehouse hoping to find her beloved Joker or even a henchman to point the direction. "Must've gone out." He's never taken so long to make his presence known, but then again, he is unpredictable.

The light started flickering out. Harley's flashlight was dying and Joker's still nowhere to be found. "Hello?!" The clown girl finally screamed.

"Harley?" A male voice echoed. "Harley, is that you?"

"Puddin'?" Harley dropped her flashlight in joy and rushed to her bedroom ready to pounce on her love.


	2. Chapter 1

_**Harley**_:

My heart was fluttering at the sound of my puddin's voice. The Laff Factory wasn't so laughable in the dark, especially when there are broken, sharp, pointy things lying around. Oh, when I heard him call my name, I felt that I could just die in love right there.

"Puddin'!" I screeched in excitement as I flung the door to our bedroom open. To my disappointment, he wasn't there.

My eyes scanned the messy room and found no sign of my puddin'; however, my drawer of lingerie was scattered all over the bed and floor. My signature bra was on the pillow and my favorite black lace thong was next to it as if on display. "I might as well put some clothes on and find him." I stated while picking up the undergarments. My cropped night gown slid off instantly and I slipped on the thong quickly in case someone, hopefully Mr. J, swung open the door. The bra was my favorite, of course. I held it in front of me to admire while I stepped into the bathroom to freshen up.

**Hooks so perfectly!**

If I was going to go out, I had to look conventional. The rag on the faucet was already wet so I smothered it in soap and ran it under some warm water. "Off you go." I said as I was about to wipe off my jester makeup. Right before the rag hit my cheek; a hand gripped my wrist and tossed the wet towel aside.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." A husky voice said in my ear.

"Mistah J?" I turned around hoping to see my puddin' and, to my luck, I did. "Oh, mistah J! Where have you been?" I smiled at the sight of his Joker face.

**Jo-jo-Joker face, jo-jo-Joker face, HA!**

"I've been… thinking, planning... general fantasizing." He licked his ruby red lips.

"Oh, about killing B-man?" I asked.

"No, about you, Harley."

**Me?**

"What about me? Do you need me to do something, puddin'?" My eyes felt like giant crystals and my chest felt like it was a weak barrier to the beating of my heart.

"What did I say about calling me 'puddin'!" He turned me around and pinned both my wrists against the wall. I could see the glare of the blade in his pocket in the mirror.

"Okay, sorry, Mistah J." I apologized nervously.

He locked my wrists together with his left hand and held my jaw with the other. Something about his emerald eyes screamed dangerous, dangerous for me. The dangerous in his eyes wasn't dark, though; his eyes were filled with a green fire that actually began to excite every nerve in my body.

"Even for a guy like me, I can sometimes get distracted, but that's what happens when I have such lovely company running around, wouldn't you agree?" Those plump lips shaped into a sinister smirk.

"Sure, whatever you say, mistah J." I squeaked.

"What do you expect with you running around in garments like these? You little minx." He swung me against the door, but loosened his grip on my jaw.

Mr. J really knew how to get me going. Every fiber of me wanted to give in to this overpowering lust, but his grip on me was too tight. At this point, I was completely hopeless. Mr. J was making everything tickle and tingle, but I learned that this tickle can easily turn into a rash.

**Just do it, Harley!**

On an impulse, I smashed my black lips to his red ones and made sure that I left my mark. My tongue started poking through my barrier, but I couldn't hold back. My adrenaline seemed to kick in and shift into overdrive because I pulled my arms down from his grip and ran my hands through his green hair. He pushed me harder against the door and I wrapped my legs around his waist. "Unh, Joker." I moaned into his mouth. That word from my mouth must have pushed him over the edge because I felt his arousal pulse under my hips and he started raping my mouth with his tongue.

The door must have collapsed since we ended up on the floor and I'm drawing a blank on how. I licked along his scars and shivered at the feeling of his sweet breath against my neck. His coat was gone, his shirt unbuttoned… My hands had a mind of their own, well, my mind. His chest was hard and muscular, but subtly. Mr. J is lean, but he does have muscle and it feels so wonderful against my skin. He's like a heater that I could just wrap myself around forever.

**Stay with me forever.**

Oh, his abs. He had a subtle outline of hard abdominals and that 'V' from his hips and down his waist. I let him kiss my neck, I let the heat brew in between my legs, but my mouth wanted to taste him and I did. I kissed his lips, jaw, neck, chest, and eventually his abs. My tongue swirled around his skin and I trailed back up to his neck. _Kiss, kiss, lick, kiss, BITE._ "Unh!" Mr. J moaned.


	3. Chapter 2

_**Joker**_:

This little minx bit my neck and made my hips gyrate between hers. Oh, how I want to own her, dominate her; make her forever mine to enjoy.

**Not the right time, yet.**

Her skin is so pale and smooth. She's white fire with those delicious black lips, her lips. That tongue is the work of the devil, I swear. She can swirl it around any part of my body and make it feel so sensational. This kitten, however, has had her fun. It's time for J to take what's mine.

Her hot little mouth was against mine. I threaded my fingers through her golden locks and pulled her head back. "Don't make a noise." I ordered. I devoured her lips. I kissed and licked every inch of her mouth, then bit her bottom lip to see a little red. To my surprise, she wasn't fazed. Harley just gave a wicked little grin, and then licked the blood off her lip. Never have I been so hard against this little girl, but she's not a little girl anymore. No, she's my Harley Quinn. She's a clown goddess, but maybe this black and white jester needs a little red.

With a quick suck of her bloody lip, I pulled my knife out of my pocket and placed the blade in her mouth. "We need some color on this harlequin." I gently slid the cold blade down her chin, neck, then to her chest. The cold blade made this doll breathe heavier and left goose bumps with every touch.

"Unh." She moaned as I slid the blade around her nearly exposed breasts.

"I said no noise. This can't go unpunished." I flicked the edge of the knife and left a curved cut along the curve of her right breast. Red truly made her skin glow. My knife seemed to become more useful. I cut her again above her right breast then two more cuts above her left.

All of a sudden, the pain that painted her face melted into a fiendish smile. Those blue eyes turned into the hottest blue fire that I lost focus. Next thing I know, her leg kicked me up and I landed with my back against the cold bathroom tile. Harley pounced on top of me and ripped my shirt away. Her little hands trailed down to my waist and she slid her body down with my pants like a wild cat. My anger towards her kicking me faded when I felt her mouth envelop my hardness. "Oh, Harley." I tried to fight the moans so she wouldn't feel like she had power over me, but she was making this difficult.

**This can't go on.**

She seemed focused on this little blow job, so I bucked forward and sat up. She looked nervous, good. I stood and grabbed her hair before exiting the bathroom. "I'm not coming in the bathroom. We're not animals." I dragged her to the bed and threw her into the sheet. My knife was on the floor, so I grabbed it lifted her chin with the tip of the blade. "Close your eyes." I hissed. She did instantly and started tensing up. With two flicks of the wrist, I cut off her panties and bra. She let out an uneven breath and, right before my eyes, her arms and legs broke into goose bumps. I licked my lips, but then saw her nipples harden and she came right there in front of me. "Uuuunnnnnhhh!" She roared as she released her ecstasy onto the sheets.

Every type of torture I had in mind seemed pointless since the minx let it all out. I couldn't tease anymore, I lost it, and I jumped onto her glistening body. My lips were fusing into hers and I thrust with my greatest force into the little fireball's sex. "Unnh!" Her pained moan pierced the walls and rang in my ears as I owned this girl, as I owned my Harley Quinn.


	4. Chapter 3

**_Together._**

Harley chewed on the Joker's scars and wrapped her legs around her lover's waist to feel him as deep inside her as allowed. She wanted to feel like a complete part of him. The Joker continued to roughly thrust into her while sucking on the girl's neck. She had red lipstick prints around her body, as the Joker had black lip prints around his. Their hot, blinding love was conquered by passion.

"Unh, mistah J!" Harley moaned at the smashing into her pelvis.

"Harles." The Joker grabbed Harley's mouth.

Joker slipped his tongue between her lips and waited for her response. Once she started battling his tongue with hers, he bit down and drew blood. "Unnh!" Harley moaned in pain. Joker sucked on the bleeding tip of her tongue and Harley dug her nails into his back until she felt his blood run down her fingers. "Oh my God!" Joker cried.

Harley licked down his jaw and nipped his neck. Joker nuzzled his face into her neck and kissed her bruising flesh. The blood covering Joker's back was in small amounts around Harley's claw marks. Her black lips stretched into a childish grin while she used the blood to spell her name and draw little hearts. While drawing her last heart, Harley felt herself start to erupt as did the Joker.

"Faster, mistah J, go harder!" She pleaded.

"So tight." Joker breathed.

His thrust, believe or not, became harder and more intense. His hips started twisting and turning and Harley's began to buck forward. They both knew the end was near so they bit, scratched, and licked every flash of skin that caught their eye. With one possessive squeeze of Harley's breast, the two psycho-lovers exploded together.

"Oh, Joker!" Harley shrieked.

"Grrraaaahhh!" Joker roared.

Joker's breathing was rigid and his cheek was resting against Harley's shoulder. The jester petted her Joker's hair until she felt him fall asleep. Once he snored for the fifth time, Harley slipped out from under her lover and tiptoed into the bathroom with her costume in arm.

"Oh God." Harley whispered to the sight of her reflection.

Harley had bruises all around her body as well as bleeding bite marks, cuts, hand prints, and red lip prints. Her eyes were drained and her hair was tangled and frizzy where Joker pulled. She ran her hand around her head to smooth out her messy locks and a few strands came out twisted around her fingers. "Did he pull my hair out?" She asked herself. She shrugged and decided that she doesn't have time to fuss about her appearance. She pulled on her jester costume and covered her bloody pulp of a naked body. Her lipstick was all around her mouth and her mask was smeared around the bottom edges.

"Oh well." She whispered as she wiped some black smears and a few blood stains off her face. She pulled out a white make up sponge and dabbed a few spots then re-applied her lipstick and some gloss.

"Hmm…" She took the rag from earlier and wiped the bridge of her nose to remove the makeup. She dabbed some white over the naked spot and wiped the ends of her mask. Harley applied the white face paint then smeared black around her lids in circular motions. She dabbed her finger in the black paint and dragged it down to the middle of her cheek. Harley also took a red lipstick and filled in the inner, dried part of her lips to give it a stained look.

The sight of Harley Quinn's signature costume seemed bland to her now. She wanted to look better, hotter, more exciting. Something about her recent sex with Joker made this thing inside her just… click. "I know what to wear." Harley took off her costume and tossed it on the floor. She tiptoed to the dresser and pulled out several articles of clothing. She slid on black, leather leggings; a black form fitting tank top, a red, strapped, buckled corset, and knee-high red boots. Harley admired her outfit and liked that her diamonds tattoo on her shoulder was visible for once.

"My hair!" She grabbed her brush and brushed through it. Something still didn't seem quite right. Harley tightened her lips and grabbed the scissors in the drawer.

"Here goes." She whispered as she cut her hair.

Harley's hair was now just above shoulder length. Her locks curled around her face and made her feel fresh, renewed… wanted; she felt pretty.

"I think it's time to go out and play." Harley grabbed her bag off the bedroom floor and opened the window. The Joker moaned, but was still asleep. Harley's lips broke into a smile and she laughed while jumping out onto the concrete.

"Hahahahahahahahhaha!"

The Joker jumped awake and found Harley nowhere in sight. The wind was waving the curtains against the windowsill, but just to be sure, the Joker got up and walked to the bathroom to see if Harley was in there. He eased the door open and saw nothing but her costume, a pile of blonde hair, scissors, and makeup products all over the floor.

"Little clown girl thinks she's funny leaving the light on, jumping out the window." The Joker started turning around, but heard a vibration against the marble of the bathroom counter. It was his cell phone, the one he never uses except when getting ahold of his henchmen or Harley. He picked it up and saw that he had a new picture message. The Joker's eyes squinted in curiosity as he opened the message. His eyes hardened and his lips tightened when he saw a picture of Harley's new hair and outfit with a little message: "How do you like the new me, Mr. J?"

"That girl is going to get it."


End file.
